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| need to talk . . . |
| 12.07.05 (5:12 am) [edit] |
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It's funny, because I'm posting here on my blog, yet I've asked one of my teenage students to remove a blog SHE wrote that specifically mentions my name and religion in a derisive fashion. How ironic is that?
I haven't written here for a while specifically because life took over and interrupted . . . well, life! I've been incredibly busy with my new book and with school, and now with the holidays coming up, there's scarcely time to breathe. But I have come to the conclusion that I need this blog and need to vent occasionally.
I'm struggling with becoming a better, more effective teacher, and probably will be til the day I die. After all my years teaching at various levels, I've come to the conclusion that I'm now doing the most important work of my career: teaching high schoolers, particularly seniors about to embark on the rest of their lives. I worry every day about whether I'm doing the "right thing." Whether these kids will remember what they've learned in my classroom. Whether I've taught them life lessons as well as what they need to know about British Literature and about writing an essay paper. How many of them will discover that they're in fairly good shape? Do I criticize too much? Do I give them enough positive reinforcement? Are the stories I tell effective? Should I shut up and listen to them? Should I spend more time outside of school at their games or visit them when they're sick? Contact their parents more often or let the kids take responsibility for their own actions?
Sometimes I think there are more questions than answers . . .
And why can I do THIS when I can't take care of problems with my own stepchild? Will those problems ever be "fixed?" Will the race issue continue to raise its head from now until the day I die?
I wish life were easier, but I'm old enough to realize it never will be, and Buddhist enough to embrace the struggle.
I want more time -- time to do more yoga, time to read more books, time to meet with a Buddhist group, time to travel and see my daughter, time to perhaps build a better relationship with her and to help her deal with her own life . . .
Okay, more time for this later . . . I have another class coming in.
Peace.
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| I must be boring . . . |
| 07.14.04 (5:56 am) [edit] |
No one's visiting me anymore! Maybe I just don't talk about exciting stuff on this blog . . . sigh. I'm depressed about this.
I'm in the process of creating a website, so I'm looking for photos. Only have two more days at this job, then I'm off to Las Vegas for some fun in the desert sun for a few days -- then back for a visit with Jen before seriously hitting the books to plan for my Brit Lit students.
yahoo.
Maybe when I visit here again, someone will have something to say . . . sigh.
Peace
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| rainy 4th and Kerry's choice for VP |
| 07.06.04 (11:22 am) [edit] |
I'm really trying hard to keep myself busy until I leave this place, but instead of doing a lot of work, I'm doing a lot of research for what I'll be teaching come August. I'm really looking forward to getting into Brit Lit again. SO much more fun than monitoring who's late and who's not in dress code and doing what my boss wants me to do (which largely consists of her dirty work . . .)
This weekend was rainy and steamy. We need the rain, but I could do without the steam! :oops: We went to Flagler and watched the fireworks over the Intercoastal -- and the people who came to watch them. What a group!!! I think some people don't look in the mirror when they leave the house.
Amazing that three summers ago, Norris and I celebrated the 4th over the phone rather than together, but now we're an old married couple. :wink:
Heard that Kerry chose Edwards for his running mate, and I think that's a good choice. Edwards will carry some of the Southern states that Kerry might have a problem with, and he's conservative enough that he might be able to swing some Republican votes. My only concern is that he's not really entrenched in politics -- that might be a good thing in a lot of ways, but it's also going to come up that he's inexperienced. This pairing kind of reminds me of Clinton and Gore -- fairly young, dynamic, intelligent. Difference is that both Clinton and Gore were "Southerners" and Kerry is definitely not.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is the team that will knock the Bushes out of the White House.
Back to work for me . . .
Peace.
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| Farenheit 9/11 and Bush's grammar -- or lack of!!! |
| 07.01.04 (10:01 am) [edit] |
I've been talking nonstop about Farenheit 9/11 since seeing it -- and have always talked nonstop about our current president's lack of grammatical skills.
We saw the movie over the weekend, and I told Norris that if I had looked up into the theater before seeing 9/11, I would have sworn just about 98% of the people sitting there were Republicans -- rich, white, older, couples. But they reacted in such a positive manner to Michael Moore's treatise on the Bush "dynasty" (or should I call it "dimenasty"?) that they couldn't possibly be Republican.
Moore has created an hour and a half long commercial against getting another Bush re-elected, and it's about time someone had the guts to do so. To be able to put together all the details, all the true-isms about the Bush family, particularly George Dubbya, was a feat. To do so in an entertaining fashion was brilliant.
The chilliest scene: Bush talking about what could have/would have been done about 9/11, then turning to show the reporters his golf swing.
The scene that made me angriest: Bush sitting for seven minutes in a classroom when he'd just been told his country had been attacked -- and doing nothing!
The scene(s) that convinced me (once more) we shouldn't be in Iraq: Bush's administration getting Bin Laden's family out of the country without proper and immediate questioning. Bush's familial ties with the Saudis. Bush's lack of attention to anything related to Bin Laden.
The things I knew that I didn't want to be reminded of: Charred bodies hanging off a bridge. :cry:
Having just received (two nights before) a phone call from my stepson, who is based in the Baghdad Airport, I could totally understand the woman whose son had been killed and how that made her feel such mixed emotions -- partially angry at the administration and partially at herself -- about the war. She'd started off being such a patriotic "Bush person" but changed her mind when she traveled to Boston and stood in front of the White House, an emotional mess. It was heartbreaking.
There were so many instances in the movie when I cringed because our (so-called) President stood in front of crowds or as cameras rolled and couldn't even put together a coherent English sentence. We are supposed to be the most intelligent nation on Earth, but the boob we have in the White House can't make a subject agree with a verb. Thank God he has someone writing speeches for him, because if he were let loose to speak on his own on a regular basis, we'd lose respect everywhere.
Has Michael Moore made his point? Definitely. How's his timing? Impeccable. Will this help John Kerry move the democratic party into the White House? Perhaps. It depends on how many intelligent Americans are left in the United States . . .
Will this documentary end the war in Iraq? (Don't say it's already over, because it's not. As long as people keep dying there, we're at war.) Probably not. And that's the saddest thing.
Whatever you might think of Michael Moore, you have to see this movie. It's moving, it's funny, it's eye-opening, and it's irritating -- and it makes you think. We need more of this type of "entertainment."
Peace.
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| going back to teaching -- and can't wait! |
| 06.24.04 (1:48 pm) [edit] |
I've spent the whole afternoon researching what and how I'll teach when I start this fall. I can't believe I'm leaving a well-paying position as an administrator and going back into the classroom -- the high school classroom!!! I'm taking a $10K drop in pay to follow my heart.
Honestly, I've felt like a fish out of water -- truly the "bad guy" in this place -- for the past year and a half. I think the main reason why I've stayed this long is because the pay was good and I didn't have to correct papers at night and on the weekends. It's been nice to have my time with Norris, but I haven't been happy with my work -- and with what I'm giving back to the universe.
As a Buddhist, I want to do good, and so much of what I do now has been negative. :cry:
It's time to change that! I'm going to teach senior English (Advanced Placement and Honors, which means I get the smart kids! :) ) and I'll be able to get back into the literature I love so much. Maybe someone will be happy to have me because I'm a writer. Here, they could not care less.
My boss has been an absolute drip lately, so I'm not even going to give her the full month's notice they ask for here. Too bad. I want a week off before I start on the new job. I haven't had a vacation since I started here, and I think I deserve one.
It's going to be a pleasure having several weeks off at Christmastime, spring break, Easter, two MONTHS during the summer . . . maybe I can write again!!!
Speaking of writing, I printed out the novel and it actually looks pretty good. I'm going to rip it apart and totally rewrite the story line, but sometimes I read my own writing and think -- wow, I don't remember writing that.
Now we just need to get Norris a job. He has gotten interviews with all but one of the companies he recently applied to, which is fabulous. There's got to be SOMEthing there that will turn him on!!!
Back to work. One more hour, and I get to go home :-)`
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| the husband I love . . . |
| 06.22.04 (1:29 pm) [edit] |
Norris has been home for the past couple of days, so we've had a chance to have lunch together. That never happens. The best part, though, is that we got to stay in bed this morning since I didn't have to be here until 10 :wink:
He's home now ironing clothes. What a man I have! He cleans the house until it shines in every nook and cranny. He cooks dinner when I work late. He rubs my back when I've had a hard day. He sits on the couch with me and lets me lean against his round, strong shoulder (the one that always puts me to sleep), and he doesn't mind if I snore a little! He washes and waxes my car so that it'll "look pretty."
When I ask him to do something, I only have to ask once. When he sees his daughter, he smiles like the proudest dad in the world.
He stays home every single night, happy just to be with me. We laugh and giggle and chase each other with towels, snapping just enough to sting -- not to hurt. We bike together on the weekends and walk together in strange cities, hand in hand. We talk about everything when we lie in bed on weekend mornings -- sometimes serious topics like what it was like growing up in segregated Texas -- sometimes silly things like "can you remember the TV show where the three guys . . ."
My sister listened to me complain a couple of weeks ago about a disagreement we'd had and when I was done, she said quietly, "He's waited his whole life to find you."
Yup, and I've waited my whole life to find HIM.
It may sound mushy, but I truly feel like the luckiest woman . . .
Peace
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| Got a new job!!! |
| 06.21.04 (12:48 pm) [edit] |
I haven't been online because it's been absolutely nuts. Friday, I had two girls who just about killed each other on campus. Since that time, I've decided this is enough for me -- and I've taken a job teaching high school AP/Honors English at a private Catholic school. This should be "interesting" since I'm Buddhist, but I think it's going to be interesting in a good way. I'm looking forward to going back to teaching literature and have been pumped about getting my classes ready. :lol:
Norris quit his new job last week, so he's anxious about getting in elsewhere. He just couldn't take it anymore -- and I think he's feeling a little guilty about it, but I'm sure he'll be able to get something else soon.
It's raining here now, and I'm hoping it stops before I leave tonight. I got too wet over the weekend at a baseball game and don't want to continue . . .
More later.
Peace
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| taking a deep breath . . . I HATE MY JOB!!! |
| 05.27.04 (1:52 pm) [edit] |
Man, I've been so busy! Now that I have no time whatsoever to blog, I'm going to do a quickie.
I have to get out of this job. It's too damn stressful. I don't feel like I'm doing anything productive anymore, and my boss is asking me to do things because she doesn't have the guts to do them herself. Every day I have to take migraine headache pills.
On the up side, we have a LONG WEEKEND, and I'm so looking forward to spending part of it in the garden or floating in the pool . . . vegetating. I know a good portion of it will be spent talking to Norris about where we're both going to next, work-wise.
He started his new job Monday and already hates it. He's working for a woman twenty years younger than he is, and the fact that he has that 20+ years of experience on her is already showing. He could do her job plus his with his hands tied behind his back. He's especially frustrated that they haven't even given him a space of his own. He needs an office. My guy is a Feng Shui type of person. Needs that "nest."
I've got to go back to work. I'm putting together reports for our accrediting bodies, but I just had to take a quickie break.
Peace.
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| 10 favorite moments |
| 05.18.04 (1:48 pm) [edit] |
[image]jazzydawn_48261873 7.jpg[/image]
I decided to do a list this time. 10 favorite moments in my life
10. Graduation from high school
9. Singing on stage in college ("Summertime" -- nowhere near as well as Fantasia does!)
8. Publishing my first book
7. Seeing Jen graduate from college
6. Walking through Paris in the rain
5. Sitting in St. Mark's Square in Venice sipping a perfect glass of wine
4. Holding stepgrandson Jake for the first time
3. Holding Bryan (godchild) for the first time
2. Marrying Norris
1. Jennifer's birth
Peace
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| thinking about Brown vs. Board of Education |
| 05.17.04 (9:35 am) [edit] |
All of the news articles about the 50th anniversary of Brown vs Board of Education started me thinking about what kind of impact this has had upon me and the people I love.
Norris grew up in Texas in the late 1950s, and the first couple of schools he attended were segregated. He has told me stories about going to the doctor's and getting poor treatment because he and his family were Black . . . and he's told me about not being able to drink from the same water fountain. To think that people were not treated equally makes me sick, even though I have known about this type of treatment and railed against it for my whole life. It just hurts worse now because I'm married to the sweetest man in the world, and he had to go through all of this prejudice/racism -- still does, to some extent. Yet, though this has been his life, he has risen above it. He was a straight A student through school, involved in every sport you can name, voted the Most Popular, Most Valuable Player, a member of the Honor Society, president of his fraternity . . . on and on and on. He is a man of honor, a respectable person, an immaculate housekeeper (makes me very happy to say that :lol: ), and an incredible father. How he managed to do all that he has in spite of the obstacles put in his way throughout the years truly amazes me.
I think that lesser people don't battle the odds and instead complain about how they can't get ahead. It saddens me to see other African Americans who have become bitter as a result of their lives. I don't blame them, but I wonder whether they could have done the same thing Norris did to rise above. He had no support at home. His birth father lived in the same town he did, but he had no contact with him. His mother left him when he was three and he was raised by his grandparents, both of whom were exceptionally poor. The house he lived in was one room, and all of them slept in the same room (his grandparents, his uncle and Norris). He only saw his mother occasionally because she was living with a man who didn't like kids. It wasn't until he was in high school that she came home and they lived in a trailer until he went to college.
Everything that he has, he worked for himself. Nothing was given to him on a silver platter.
Granted, I was poor, too, but I had both parents at home. I had support. I had help with homework. I had vacations and siblings. He was an only child who made do with imaginary friends -- yet he laughs about it. He tells me stories about being the "whole baseball team. I'd hit the ball, then run to catch it, and run the bases yelling for myself, just like I would have if I were on a team."
He has the absolute best attitude, and I think that's what has brought him through life.
But what amazes me most is that he's married to a blond, blue-eyed, Swede from New England. How he could trust ANY white person after being persecuted, abused, beated, shot at and made fun of, is beyond me.
People wonder why I love him. How could you not respect someone who's been through all of this and come out of it smiling???
Peace.
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| weird dreams |
| 05.14.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
I had a dream about my ex last night. It's not the first time. I dream about him all the time -- probably because we lived together for 23 years. Hard habit to break.
In my dream, he was missing a foot. Somehow it got cut off and someone gave it to me. No blood or gore, just this cut off man's foot. I had stored it in a bureau drawer, hidden from Norris. I kept having to move it or put stuff on it. Then Bobby showed up in my bedroom, laid down on the bed and wouldn't move, even though I kept telling him Norris was going to be home soon. Throughout the whole conversation, I was looking at his foot and marveling that it looked pretty real (for a fake foot -- I had the real one in my drawer). Then he finally left, and I took the foot out of the drawer, wrapped it up and threw it away.
Okay, what's the psychological significance of this???? TOO weird!
peace
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| Early day -- bebopping outta here! |
| 05.12.04 (10:23 am) [edit] |
I love the days when I can leave at 1:30!!! WAhoooooo.
I'm going to get my hair cut (maybe I won't look like a shaggy dog anymore :shock: ) and then have to go home to start cooking for tonight's dinner. We're having company -- a woman who works with Norris and is a Buddhist, like me. Hopefully, everything will go well. I have to make extras for an International Potluck we're having at school tomorrow, so I'm making some of my great potato salad. Here's the recipe:
2 pounds potatoes
1 1/2 tsp garlic
cup sweet onions (chopped)
bunch green onions
6 slices cooked bacon (or 1/2 cup Bacon Bits)
1 cup Ranch dressing
3 tbs. olive oil
Chop the potatoes and put them in a large pan with 3 tbs olive oil, garlic and onions. Roast them until cooked. Take them out and mix them with the bacon and Ranch dressing, then mix in the green onions. You can serve them warm or put them in the fridge and serve them as a cold potato salad.
Peace
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| the good, and the bad -- sounds like LIFE! |
| 05.06.04 (8:03 am) [edit] |
Norris got great news last night -- he got the job and got the pay he wants! YAHOO!!! He was a happy camper!
Unfortunately, I gave him my sore throat, so he's not a well happy camper, but at least a happy one. :lol:
I went and had the most WUNderful massage in the world yesterday -- and a full body scrub too. My skin felt like silk afterwards and they just about had to pour me into the car! The "high" feeling lasted well into the night . . .
Then after American Idol (poor George got sent home -- he was my favorite. Such a sweet man! I know he'll keep on going with his career), we were talking and I said, "You haven't heard from Taylor all week and we're supposed to go up for the awards ceremony Friday, so why don't you call her" and the phone rang and it was her! BUT she called to say she's not going to the awards ceremony. She's going to a church revival instead. Norris is bothered by that because he thinks she cancelled the awards ceremony because I was going to come up. I don't think he's right. I think she's going to the revival because her stepfather is a minister and probably needs to be there. But . . . with things going as they have with Taylor lately, I have no idea what to think. One thing's for sure: Norris is getting tired of this. He thinks Treva is definitely behind it big time and said last night taht he really believes in marrying the person you love, no matter how anyone else feels, so I think he's made his choice and Taylor's going to have to live with it. He's said to me before that Taylor doesn't live with him, that he only sees her once every three or four months, and that the person he has married is there all the time, so basically that person is going to be first in his life. I NEVER want to take his daughter's place, but I'll tell you -- it makes me feel good to know he's sticking up for me.
Well, I have tons of work to do and I'm not usually on here in the morning, so I'd better go . . .
Oh, one more thing: my editor at Random House and I talked yesterday and I think my new book is going to be on collecting photographs (hear that, Fotocali???) Yahoo!
Peace.
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| Down to the Final Five!!! |
| 05.04.04 (4:31 pm) [edit] |
Okay, only another 55 minutes and I'm outta here -- and on my way home to watch the Final Five contestants on American Idol! I can't wait to get out of here tonight. Still have my cold -- sinuses really bothering me today -- and I want to go home and take more medicine.
Jen sent me my Mother's Day present today -- a gift certificate to a SPA!!!! YAHOOO! I'm going to get a massage and facial tomorrow after work. How cool is that??? I love that kid! Guess I must have brought her up right. :D :D :D :D
Norris had an excellent interview this morning and he's trying not to get his hopes up, but after he met the CEO, the guy told Human Relations "I like this man -- hire him!" Now all we have to see is whether they'll pay him what he's worth. I went to their website this afternoon, and they're asking for someone with less experience than he has, so I hope that doesn't mean that they won't pay him what he's worth. The position is Assistant Controller and they purposely want to bring someone on board that they can groom to move up, so let's hope they choose him. He really wants this job :!:
As far as my job goes, I'm having problems hiring teachers. Either they can teach and don't have the credentials or they have the credentials and can't teach. Seems like I can't find both . . .
I haven't been able to get out in the garden the past four days, so I'm sure when I get out there tomorrow, there'll be tons of weeds. I also need to cut down some of the sunflowers that got smashed by the rain the past couple of days. Wish I knew how to dry them so I could work them into some wreaths I'll make for myself.
Peace.
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| arrggghhhh . . . storms suck! |
| 05.03.04 (2:34 pm) [edit] |
I sat here and poured out a LONG blog about what had happened this weekend, talked about the storm going on outside my office window, then BAM!, the lights go out, the computer goes off and the long blog is lost. Storms suck!!!
Short and sweet: I saw my grandkids and was amazed at how much they've grown. (Is that a cliche or what?) Robbie is twelve, 5'10" tall, size 13 shoe, and still a carrot-red-haired-boy. He's not doing well in school at all, and I wonder if part of it is because his dad is in Iraq. Colton has gained weight, but he's still the shy little intelligent kid he was when I met him (he's a child from a second marriage). And Jake was just walking when I last saw him and is four now! He is still enough of a baby to have cuddled with me when we dried off from being on the beach. We had a good time, though I must admit it was strange having them ask questions about what my life is like now . . . We'll keep in touch from now on :-)
I was out of work on Wednesday to see the kids, then went in for about two hours on Thursday before I started throwing up. Went home and spent the rest of the day in bed. Over the weekend, I got some kind of cold, so I'm STILL sick, but my boss won't go for me taking anymore time off, so I'm here . . . blinding rainstorm and all.
Norris and I went to SunFest, a music festival, yesterday and had a good time, though both of us weren't in tip top shape. He's been kind of down because of the job situation and has had a headache. I've been trying to deal with my own job crap and this cold. BUT we saw a great group of jazz "kings" -- Jeff Golub, Warren Hill, Marc Antoine, and Euge Groove -- and had a good time. (Ruben Studdard was there too!!!)
I'm semi-actively looking for a new job. I really am having a hard time working for a woman who's younger than I am and rigid as hell. She refuses to let me do my job. I feel like going back to the job I left. I've even had thoughts of going back to teaching, even though the money is less and the hours are more.
I think that I'll just get another book contract and make some more money that way -- and fill in some of my hours. Sometimes, this job is incredibly boring. I feel like I sit here twiddling my thumbs because my boss feels like she has to do everything herself. It makes me feel like I'm an idiot -- and I could do her job with both eyes closed. BETTER than she does. She sits behind her desk on the computer and runs everything from there. If you walk into the office, she doesn't even look up. It's ridiculous. Most of the students here have seen her once -- at orientation.
Enough bitching. It's pouring again and I might lose power, so I'd better get off.
Peace.
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| Bonnie Raitt and the rain . . . |
| 04.27.04 (4:11 pm) [edit] |
Sitting in my office waiting for the time to come when I can go home and watch American Idol (I'm such a suckah for reality TV). Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" is on the radio and it's pouring raining out. What a melancholy feeling. I remember when she did this song at her recent concert, and the audience sat, hushed and entranced, listening to her hit those high notes and sing her whole heart into the words. She had asked that we respect the song itself before she sang it because someone had talked through the whole thing the night before. Needless to say, everyone was respectful -- even the clouds seemed to stop in the sky. It was a gorgeous spring night, Florida-style. Just a bit of a breeze, the rustle of the palm trees, the smell of Confederate Jasmine in the air . . . She always makes me cry with that song -- perhaps it's the feeling of love gone wrong . . . or never begun. It's a sort of reaching out, a plaintive note of despair, the feeling that all of us have had at one point or another. How many have loved from afar or have loved someone who just couldn't return the emotion? It's painful, and she nails that bluesy feeling perfectly.
The audience that night had been "our age." I looked around, feeling like I have when I've been to many other concerts -- a bit excited, a bit jittery, wanting to sing and dance, maybe smoke a little doobie -- and the people there weren't 20-something (like how I feel, though I'm far from that age). It's always surprising to me to see others my age because I don't feel the way they look . . . sigh. I guess I don't realize how old I am when I'm with Norris because we always fool around and act more silly/young than I did in my twenties. Guess I have a right to be goofy. I spent far too much time serious.
. . . . . .
I've spent the past week feeling itchy and wanting more out of my job than what I'm getting. The title is great: dean of academic affairs . . . but my boss is at least fifteen years younger than I am, tends not to respect what I know about education (which is a helluva lot more than she knows), and she doesn't even respect my background as a writer. I'm frustrated . . . and I'm bored.
Boredom always seems to be a problem with me. Unless I'm kept busy constantly, I find time to waste and that drives me nuts. That's probably why I've been able to publish more than one book a year. That's probably why my friends and colleagues talked me into writing a book about how to manage your time.
Anyway . . . I've started looking for another job and am not impressed by what's out there. I don't know if it's because I've gone further up the ladder or have just become a little jaded. I applied for one today to edit company magazines. I could do that with my hands tied behind my back. We'll see if I even get called in for an interview.
Tomorrow I meet my grandkids for a day. It's the first time in three years that I've seen them, so I'm prepared to be a little shocked by their growth. This should be fun. I've taken the day off from work so that I'll have a little more time with them. I just hope Ruthie doesn't start talking trash about the rest of the family because I'm just not interested in hearing about it.
Well, guess I should get myself ready to go home.
peace [image]jazzydawn_58148752 0.jpg[/image]
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| Norris on the front page of newspaper . . . URGHHHH |
| 04.26.04 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
This past week has been insane. First the email from my former stepdaughter-in-law, which is probably going to work out fine (I'm going to see the grandkids Wednesday -- wonder what they'll look like. I haven't seen them in THREE YEARS!!!). Then there was a story on the TV news about the guy who stole the money from Norris's company (they caught him trying to get another job with the county -- what a dummy!!!). THEN the story came out two days later on the front page of the newspaper, but this time the story went into detail about what's going on at the company and mentioned Norris's name . . . not a good thing when you're looking for work. He and I have been majorly depressed about it all weekend. He's even gotten to the point of wanting to cash out his retirement and thinking about moving from here. I keep telling him to just wait. How many people read the newspaper anyway??? :o
Just hope this straightens out . . . I've been very nervous about it. Don't want to get into the same rut that I was with my ex -- me doing all the work and earning all the money and him resenting me for doing so and ME resenting HIM for expecting me to. Norris is different though, and I need to remember that. At one point yesterday, I was doing the dishes and he came up behind me, hugged me and thanked me for being supportive. (Thankfully, I hadn't told him how petrified I was when the article first came out -- and that I'd had visions of losing everything!!!).
Well, we did end up having a halfway decent weekend. We went to the movies Friday night -- saw Denzel's new flick -- and went to the Marlins game Saturday night -- they won!
Yesterday I spent some time in the garden, moved a rubber plant, found some dead morning glories (guess I should have watered them more but I thought they were doing fine) and tried to figure out what to do with the ixora bushes that have died. I want to replace them, but with what? They are in the direct line of sight as soon as you come into my house -- you can see all the way out the lanai to the pool and they're behind the screened enclosure. I need something bright and decent sized to replace them -- preferably somethign that flowers for a long time -- that likes shade. Wish I could think of something that would like it out there . . .
Wish I could go home right now. The students are out on break, but I'm still here and I really don't have much to do, but I have to hang out until 7 PM and it's only 3:30. It sucks . . .
Hey, it felt like the 60s again when I read the news this morning about the march on Washington. The next generation of feminists has to fight the same battle we fought thirty years ago. Sheesh.
Peace.
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| stepson in Iraq and American Idol . . . |
| 04.20.04 (5:20 pm) [edit] |
Okay, either I'm a horrible stepmom or I've let my ex bully me again. I knew four months ago that my stepson Rob had been shipped to Iraq, but no amount of asking my ex for info worked. Come to find out, Rob wanted to get in touch with ME too (he is, after all, father to my three grandboys). We haven't talked in two years, because my ex wouldn't give me Rob's phone/address. I thought that Rob didn't want to have any contact with me anymore because I married Norris (some people have had problems with my interracial marriage), but come to find out, Bobby (ex) lied to me once again. This was the reason we got divorced to begin with (pathological lying).
Okay, so now I have Rob's email and my grandkids are coming to Florida and I'm going to see them next week.
Next problem: Norris doesn't want to meet them. I'm okay with that, but I'm not okay with the fact that I tried to talk to him about this last night and he kept changing the subject. He also made a comment that I was over-analyzing the situation. (My husband makes no bones about the fact that his biggest fault is his lack of sympathy. I think his second biggest is that he only wants to talk about what HE wants to talk about.) Anyway, I was upset about the sudden reappearance of my daughter in law (Ruthie) who is the biggest troublemaker in that family. I don't really want to have her in my house or enter into any conversations with her about the rest of my ex's family. It just gets too negative, and I've had it with negativity. Don't want anymore of that in my life :? Know what I mean?
I've been away from that family long enough to know that my life is much better, much happier and less dramatic now. I like it this way!!!
Okay, onwards. Rob is in al-Tajir and I can't find it on any map! I don't have a clue what part of the country he's in, but he's a helicopter mechanic, so I'm sure he's in some kind of airport. Naturally, I'm quite worried about him. He mentioned he has visited Babylon, so I'm guessing he's not too far from where the fighting has been . . . UGH. I'll know more when he emails me back.
And the other important subject: American Idol is on tonight, so I have to go home!
peace
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| Idol, Survivor, Apprentice -- why all in one night? |
| 04.16.04 (9:42 am) [edit] |
Last night was truly a remote control evening . . . we watched most of Survivor, and I wasn't surprised about who got voted off. I cried right along with everyone who got their videos and letters from home (Boston Bob did a very compassionate thing by letting everyone get their letters -- boy, they ALL had tears running down their faces!). As much as he tries to be the tough guy, he has a soft side. I want Rupert to win, though :-)
THE REDHEAD IS STILL ON IDOL! What is WRONG with the voters! At least he got into the bottom three, but he should be GONE. I don't get it . . . The only thing I can figure is that everyone who is voting is 13, female and living in the Midwest.
Apprentice: I thought Kwame was going to get it, but he made a big mistake by hiring Omarosa for his team. She is horrible. I wouldn't hire her to swat flies. And the lying she did! I hope she's not on the next season, because I probably won't watch it if she is.
~~~
Norris had a birthday cake (chocolate with purple flowers :lol: ) for me when I got home last night. He's da bomb!!! I love that man!
We have a date for Saturday night. I think he's probably taking me to one of the restaurants I've been wanting to visit -- and then a movie afterward. There's not much out that I want to see (that we haven't already seen), so maybe Hellboy is on the agenda this weekend.
I have an hour more to work, then I'm outta here. Hopefully, I'll get some work done on the garden and maybe get in some yoga before he gets home. He's nervous that he might end up on the news tonight because the guy who used to work for him (and stole $75K) has been arrested . . . we'll see. I hope my hubby's not on the news because he's been looking for a job and this is NOT the time to be high profile . . .
Peace
Dawn
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| happy birthday to me :-) American Idol and The Apprentice |
| 04.15.04 (2:13 pm) [edit] |
Another year gone by, and this one has been the second happiest in my life (the first happiest was the year before -- when I met my honey :-) ).
It's finally a gorgeous day here! :D It has been horrible this week, but the skies are a bright robin's egg blue, a few wispy white clouds, and the temp is an absolutely perfect 76 degrees -- unusual for West Palm Beach at this time of year. My garden got LOTS of rain this past couple of days, so parts of it are looking rather droopy, but the plants are drinking it up and spurting their love to the sky! My pepper plants are a bit drowned though . . . and the ixuma seems like it just wants to croak, so I'm seriously considering replacing them with hydrangeas.
Norris gave me a funny card before we fell asleep last night, then he woke me with a wonderfully mushy one this morning -- and when I opened it, out fell two tickets to the Bonnie Raitt concert this Sunday! Yahooo!!!! She's ma girl :-) I have loved her since we both lived in Boston and hung out in Harvard Square in the 70s. I never knew her personally, but I feel like we share a bit of history.
Well, American Idol's show last night was a bit of a disappointment for me because George didn't give his best performance, and I think it's going to hurt him. The redheaded geek did better this week, but I still don't think he belongs on this show. Fantasia was absolutely fantastic -- her version of "Summertime" was one of the best I've ever heard. LaToya was good, too, but not at her best. It's getting interesting -- and they're getting better. I think they're getting some good training.
Unfortunately, tonight we have more back-to-back competition. I definitely want to see Idol, but I also want to watch The Apprentice finale. I'd love to see Kwame win.
Okay, I'm way too much of a reality show groupie :-)
Back to work for me -- it's been an insane day with two instructors out (one of whom I'm sure is on a job interview, so I'm going to have to replace her) and questions from students and administrators all day long. People must think I have nothing to do but work! :twisted:
Peace!
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| Miami and gardening this weekend |
| 04.12.04 (9:36 am) [edit] |
I can't put any pics of my garden up because I don't have that feature!!!!! Boooo hiss . . . what a bummer!!!
All of the amaryllises are in bloom and they're spectacular :lol: This weekend was the Garden Tour through our community, so I went and met a lot of nice people -- and saw some pretty nice gardens. I was going to put mine on the tour, too but nothing was in bloom, so I didn't -- but of course, this weekend EVERYTHING was in bloom!!! I should have listed myself. Oh well, next year . . .
I sat on the lanai yesterday just looking at all the flowers and really felt a wonderful sense of peace. So many colors, such beauty, and the birds and butterflies are starting to come on a regular basis too. And it was warm enough to put my feet in the pool :-) I love it!
All six of my rose bushes are starting to bloom. The only one I'm having problems with is the orange climber, but it seriously hasn't bloomed since I got it from one of my friends as a birthday present three years ago. Maybe it's because I've moved it three times in the past three years. It's growing like crazy, but no blossoms.
We went to Miami on Friday and had a blast. We drove down South Beach, which isn't like I remembered it. Lots of outside cafes and cool Art Deco buildings, but I remembered the ocean being closer. Must have been spring break for some schools because there were a lot of college kids around.
Then we went to Bayfront Park, which is a "mall" with neat shops, restaurants, and a marina. Ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp Restaurant (too touristy for me and Norris got sick on the fried shrimp . . . I think he has an ulcer). Took a boat tour of the "rich and famous" houses -- Gloria Estefan, Don Johnson, Melanie Griffith, Julio Iglesias, Puff Daddy and a bunch of others. Very cool -- and nice to be out on the water.
The rest of the weekend was spent around the house, fixing the garden, and watching Norris wash and wax our cars. We're such party animals . . . :wink:
Skeleton crew on here at the college today, so I'm actually getting some work done. They're buying pizza for us at lunch, so I'm going to head home for only a little while to make the bed and do some stuff there. I raced out this morning without doing anything (go figure -- I get to come in later and end up almost not making it here on time!)
Peace
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| the weekend in the garden and The Rock |
| 04.05.04 (9:57 am) [edit] |
The weather was FABULOUS here this weekend! In the low 80s, clear blue sky, nice breeze -- perfect for working in the yard.
Norris and I did some errands on Saturday, after getting up VERY late. There are days we don't get out of bed until after noon, because we've been lying there talking and talking and talking. (Okay, get those other thoughts out of your head :oops: ) We got such a late start, that I didn't get much done in the yard beyond a little weeding, but on Sunday, we got "serious" and got two trellises put up against the wall so that my morning glories will have something to climb on. They look great, and I'm sure they'll be even better when there are flowers there! The red roses are in bloom, as are the orange/gold ones (they look like a Florida sunset), and the pink and white amaryllises have started blooming (their interiors sparkle like diamonds -- very cool!)
We went to see "Walking Tall" Friday night, and I was prepared for an okay flick, and it was fine, but what I WASN'T prepared for was The Rock! I had seen him wrestle before and wasn't impressed, but seeing him act . . . well, let's put it this way, his body is incredible -- and his smile is killer, too! He's not a horrible actor, but the best part is just watching him. I found myself thinking that if I were younger, I'd definitely have the hots for him (hell, even if I am NOT younger -- he's a very sexy man). The movie itself (and his acting) isn't going to win any Oscars, but I bet he'll be the next action hero.
We picked up the video of "Under the Tuscan Sun" over the weekend, and it was nice. A good trip back through Italy for me, and a good rendition of the book (I usually like the books better than the movies, but some of them have been quite good).
No updates on the stepdaughter situation, and no drama at all this weekend. Yahoo! I love quiet and peaceful weekends when I can just hang out with my hubby :-)
I'll post pics of the garden when I can get them up. I'm going to try to do the slide feature, too.
Peace
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| yoga and peace and American Idol and garden stuff! |
| 04.01.04 (1:11 pm) [edit] |
Wish I could have another morning like I had yesterday. I don't have to come in until 10, so I took my yoga mat out by the pool and did half an hour's worth -- palm trees clacking in the breeze, birds chattering to each other, the sound of the lawn guys mowing in the distance, the sun on my shoulders, my cats trying to stretch out with me. Ahhhhh . . . so peaceful.
American Idol: Why didn't the redhead guy get booted? He's HORRENDOUS! I'm liking Jasmine more and more, and I'm amazed that LaToya was in the bottom three this time. Everyone must have speed dial in John's neighborhood . . . egads!!!
STUFF: I can't wait for this weekend. Haven't had a good long one together in a while and we have some yard stuff to do. I just planted morning glories and we need to put up a trellis for them to crawl on my wall. The rose bushes are all ready to pop into bloom (I've had several roses here and there, but not a whole bush). Amaryllises are ready to blow -- they're HUGE! Sunflowers are showing some yellow. Delphiniums in full bloom, and all my other little seedlings are getting stronger. Hope to put in even more this weekend. I love this :D
Peace.
D
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| the evil stepmom??? |
| 03.29.04 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
Well, I had a rotten week/weekend with my stepdaughter, who absolutely despises me. I've done everything I possibly can for Taylor (who's 11). I got tickets to Lion Country Safari on Friday because Norris
was still working, and I took her alone. The only thing she said to me the whole time we were there is "get closer to the lions." As soon as we got home, she ran to her room, closed the door and called her mother. I took her to Publix to get her some food and no matter what I asked her, she said no. So we ended up going home with nothing. And at Lion Country and Publix, she wouldn't walk with me. I tried to tease her out of it, but nothing was working . . . All weekend long, she was
miserable to me and to my mother in law, who was good enough to come over and babysit so we could keep our reservations at the Improv Friday night. Taylor wouldn't talk to my mom in law (who's an angel!) either. She
shoots me these looks that are full of hate, and I know part of the reason (probably the major part) that she feels this way is because of her mother, who tells her every chance she can that Norris left her for a white woman (which isn't true -- he left her because she's a
WITCH!!!).
The ironic thing is that Treva's husband is a preacher, and Taylor just got "saved" a couple of months ago. My mom in law, who's truly religious, lectured her about how God loves everyone and that if she was going
to follow his word, she might want to do the same. She also told her that I didn't deserve to be treated the way she is (she's said a lot of nasty things to me).
It got to the point Saturday night that I'd done soooo much that I finally gave up when she acted like she was being punished because I brought a movie home for her. I turned the tables and did the same thing she's been doing: went to my room, closed the door and stayed in there the rest of the night.
So, we take her back to her mother Sunday morning, her mother makes it a point to have a little talk with me ("how did Taylor do this weekend?" yaddayaddayadda), then they leave. An hour later, the mother calls ME to say she was really upset because I asked Taylor to let me know when she was on the phone and she says to ME, "it's not your house, it's her father's house." Hello . . . the mortgage is in my name. Then she
goes on to complain (yet again) about the "disappointing Christmas presents." I said, "I'm not going there with you, Treva." and handed the phone over to Norris, who's used to dealing with her. He took care of it nicely, but I have to admit I was shaking and my head was pounding by the time we finished.
This morning, I wake up with chest pains . . .
I don't know what to do about it. I want Norris to see Taylor alone since we're both miserable seeing each other. I have done nothing to this child. She hates me for the color of my skin and for what her mother
says about white women stealing black men. BUT they're religious, you know . . . and I'm a Buddhist, so that just adds to it.
I chant and pray and chant again over this, but I'm still upset.
Peace
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| American Idol and Survivor -- again! |
| 03.24.04 (7:04 am) [edit] |
Sometimes I think the reason I'm so hung up on American Idol and Survivor is because they both are so far removed from what I do on a daily basis that it gives my brain a chance to totally relax . . .
I enjoyed the show last night, but there's obviously two or three who are going to make it, and the rest should hang it up right now. John Paul Edwards (is that his name?) really doesn't have what it takes, but he's got a personality that comes across stage and I'm sure all the teenyboppers love him. LaToya is incredible! Man, that woman can sing -- and perform. She's got the confidence a performer needs. I like Fantasia, too (attitude with a capital A), but George has my heart. He's just too cute . . .
Survivor has been getting interesting, and I'm curious about how much attention is going to be paid tonight to Boston Bob and his "affair" with the girls. He as all over TVGuide and the talk shows this week. I don't know how much longer he'll last. He's been sort of under the radar up til now, but I think someone's going to want him voted off. It'll be interesting to see what the elimination brings tonight.
Just wish they weren't both on at the same time!!!
My stepdaughter is here visiting, and it's been another rough beginning to her visit. Her mother keeps insisting on putting a racial spin on every time we see her. It makes it extremely uncomfortable for me. I don't know what to do with this child to make it easier . . . Treva (mother) is an insane woman. She has done some things to Norris's previous girlfriends/fiance that were totally uncalled for. At one point, she found one of his girlfriend's pictures, made a zillion copies and posted them all over the place with "for a good time call . . ." and even got them sent to the girl's house and her parents' house. Then Treva also sabotaged Joyce's job (Norris's fiance -- she died of cancer) and actually got her fired.
All I can say is that she'd better not try this crap with me. I try very hard to be a good and patient Buddhist, but I'm also a human being and I have been known to have a bad temper . . .
Well, I'd better get back to work.
Peace . ..
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Currently on my bedside stand: HOLY FOOLS
Getting ready to read: I'm up for suggestions!
In my CD player: Michael McDonald's MOTOWN . . .
Last movie seen: "Day After Tomorrow"
VIEW MY GARDEN (pics will change on a regular basis: Click the link the left hand pane :-)
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